An objectively correct season ranking, based on facts and logic.

Winter is the best season. By far. And this is ignoring the holidays that may or may not come with it. It brings on winter break (an automatic plus), hot cocoa, colder weather, fewer bugs, an all around cozy aesthetic.

Imagine: it’s the last day of the semester, you run out of school into the snow. Snowflakes begin to accumulate on your face, the air is crisp, and you’re free. On your way home you pass house after house of those oh-so familiar winter smells. The chocolatey aroma of hot cocoa, the distinct smokey smell of fireplaces, each visible through their glow in the window. Every house tells a different story about different people, like little snow globes poised above your fireplace.

This is obviously the ideal winter scenario, proven by its inclusion in all classic winter things. But since we all live in Los Angeles and apparently it doesn’t snow here (and most people don’t have a fireplace), we have to settle for less. A slightly less attractive, still aesthetically satisfying winter. One where instead of snow we have fog, coming in from the coast and flavoring the air with sea salt.

At night, headlights are blurred in the mist, circles of light that are not too dissimilar from a Van Gogh painting. Families and friends huddle close together to conserve heat, as each exhale creates a puff of steam.

Now, the biggest pro to winter is obviously its break, but there’s another season that shares this trait: summer. Summer is a season defined by its weather. Some may argue that weather is the only thing seasons are categorized by, a bold accusation to make.

Up and down the coast of LA, beaches are flooded with people, all wanting to cool off from the blazing, unbearable, blistering 78 degree heat. As far as the eye can see the shore is full of beach balls, massive umbrellas, carts selling ice cream and chicharrones de harina while maneuvering through lounging parents and masterfully constructed sandcastles, all with a cloudless LA sky above 

Being in LA makes summer an obvious top contender for first place, but alas, it loses that spot due to one unfortunate fact: traffic. Summertime and its weeks upon weeks of free days allow for the potential of fun adventures (like building a rocket, or fighting a mummy, or climbing up the eiffel tower). However, these opportunities are always stopped short by a multi-hour drive to travel more than 10 miles. The joy of winter comes not from activity doing, but from activity avoiding. Winter is choosing to stay inside and play a card game or watch a movie.

With the top two spots gone, only two seasons remain. Fall (or as the pretentious like to call it, autumn) and spring. The clear choice for spot number three is autumn. From its pumpkin spiced treats, to the gilmore girl autumn aesthetic, autumn stands out as easily the most pleasing season.

If each season had a Pinterest board, autumn’s would easily be my favorite. Then why isn’t it higher up, you may ask? It’s simple. Its warm color scheme and fancy flavors mask its true purpose. Stress. With autumn comes Thanksgiving, which means inviting family over, cooking large meals, making large plans, and stressing largely. Not to mention it houses elections, and for seniors like myself, college applications. Don’t let its demeanor fool you, autumn feeds off your anxiety, and it has a big appetite.

Lastly, spring. The default season. In any other location it would revitalize the wildlife, bring green and color back to plants, and perhaps if I lived in any other location it would be ranked higher, but in Los Angeles, we go from crisp winter days, immediately into summer, somehow skipping an entire three month season in a matter of days. I can’t explain it, but it’s evil, and really doesn’t give spring a solid shot on this ranking. Which is unfair to spring, but so is life, leaving me no remorse placing it at the bottom.